Blog Post #2: Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

This week's task is to describe an interpersonal conflict situation, either real or hypothetical. Initially, I had no idea how to begin writing this post, but upon some reflection, I realised that the scope of the topic is extremely wide. Writing from personal experience is a little easier than creating a hypothetical situation, so the story below stems from something I went through just yesterday...

Three people, whom I shall refer to as A, B and C, are working together on a large project. A is the leader of the group, and both B and C as well as a whole bunch of other people are working together under her to complete the project.

B had been feeling quite stressed out over the project, because his role was extremely important and required alot of work. In fact, at a previous meeting, A had explicitly told the entire group to do everything in their power to help B with his part of the project. One day, B happened to be online doing some work related to the project, when C comes online and starts chatting with B. They talk about various project-related issues, and after a while, C volunteers to help B with a small part of his section. B is quite thankful for this assistance.

Later that day, at a project meeting, C mentions to A that she's helping B with that part of his section. A goes, "WHAT?!?! But I was counting on you to help me do this other thing!" A is already stressed out by the magnitude of the project, and is unhappy to discover that someone she had been counting on to help her had gone off to do something else. Meanwhile, C is wondering if she's taken on too much work, and is feeling abit apprehensive about the whole situation.

In my opinion, no one has taken offence over this incident. There is much grace shown in this group. However, in another group of people, A could easily have become angry at C, C might have reacted angrily towards A, and B might have been caught up in the fallout from that conflict. In this situation, I guess that there are two things we can consider. Firstly, how did poor communications contribute to the formation of the problem, and secondly, how can the principles of good communication be used to repair the relationship and come up with a solution that pleases everyone.

On an unrelated side-note, the project that we're working on is a bazaar/exhibition to be held in the Central Forum on the 9th and 10th of February. Do come by to support us!

A brief introduction...

This blog is part of the course requirements for a university module I am taking at the National University of Singapore. The course is entitled "Professional Communications", and aims to develop students' communications skills in a context-sensitive manner. Future blog posts here will follow a fixed series of topics, related to the course content.

I decided to take up this particular module because it seemed like it would teach me skills which would actually be relevant outside of academic life. Good communication skills are critical to all our relationships, be they at home, work or play. The importance of good communication skills has been made exceptionally clear to me this past year or so, as I take up various leadership roles in school and in church. Several times, I have asked other people to complete certain tasks, only to find that the result is something completely different from what I expected. I am only now beginning to understand that communicating well involves far more than good language skills - in fact, simpler words tend to convey meaning more effectively. As a friend of mine once told me, "Eschew obfuscation*." This is a habit which I hope to unlearn. :)

Another bad habit which I have developed over the years is the tendency to communicate primarily by email and by sms. This is mainly because I find it very emotionally draining to talk to people. I am an introvert, and can happily spend many days cooped up in my house with no one to talk to. However, conversations by email take forever, and smses can get lost or ignored, and are hence ineffective in accomplishing tasks, and nearly useless for relationship-building. Over the years, I have become better at making small talk with people, and carrying on meaningless conversations in general, but when I am tired (which is often), my facade slips, and I become the silent observer in the group. Hopefully, this course will help unearth the more sociable part of me.

Last, but not least, this course promises to teach specific career-related skills such as report-writing, resume-writing etc. Also, as an MOE scholar and teacher-to-be, good speaking skills are a necessity. Again, I hope to improve these skills here.



*To obfuscate means to obscure one's meaning by using complex language. To eschew means to avoid. The phrase is meant to be ironic. Think about it. :)